skip to Main Content

Register to Become a Member Today

Forums Forums Sexuality and Hysterectomy Sex and Hysterectomy That feeling in the pit of your stomach!

Viewing 17 posts - 1 through 17 (of 17 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #327329

    Flowery359
    Participant

    Hi all, I’m having a subtotal hysterectomy next month and I’ve been doing lots (and lots!) of reading. So far I’ve managed to answer all of my questions except one – will I lose that feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when you really want your partner? It hadn’t occurred to me before and I suddenly started thinking about it the other day and I am worried that it’s going to be gone. I’ve really got no idea if that feeling originates from my uterus or if its something else. Those of you that have already undergone your op, do you still get that feeling in your stomach?

    Thank you so much!

    #327357

    123HFCS
    Participant

    Hello and happy new year! I’m new to this site as I’ve only just been told by my consultant that due to a huge cyst on my overy she suggests a total hysterectomy. I have exactly the same fears as you, I’m so worried that my sex life is going to be hampered. Has anyone replied to you, I can’t see any replies but I wonder if that is user error? I’m seriously thinking about not going ahead as no cancer markers have been picked up yet. I do hope you don’t mind me writing to you when I have no answers, hopefully someone might reply soon. Best of luck. Hx

    #327358

    Flowery359
    Participant

    Hi, happy New Year to you too! No one has replied on here so far, so I posted on another forum and had a couple of responses from women saying not to worry. They said that although it might disappear for a while as hormones adjust, it should all settle down again and be ok. I did a lot of research on alternative options for my condition and came to the conclusion that partial hysterectomy is the right choice for me but I had to visit a couple of doctors before I found one who looked at me as an individual and didn’t try to push me down a treatment route I wasn’t comfortable with. If you feel that a total hysterectomy might not be right for you, it might be worth visiting another doctor for a second opinion.

    All the best to you too, F x

    #329124

    Sarah
    Participant

    Hi ladies
    I am feeling pretty low as my full hysterectomy has altered my sex life drastically .
    My partner who is not a subtle man says it is like having sex with a different bird .
    Our sex life was the best part of our relationship without it I feel guilty desolate and lacking in all confidence .
    I think I need some antidepressants to get me through this .
    My partner is not deliberately unkind but he is not the type of man to walk with me in this psychologically .
    He just gets on his motorbike disappears for days on end and tells me to go and do whatever I need to to sort myself out .
    I miss the motorbike as I rode pillion
    I miss everything .
    Sarah x

    #329126

    Mabelblu
    Participant

    Sarah,

    I feel for you and don’t really know what to say. I’m 6 weeks on Friday so nearing that time when we may well be trying. Is it possible that things may change for you yet…I think I read in your post that you are 9 weeks..so is it possible that things would still improve? At the end of the day this is something that both of you need to work through and I’m sure that if he had an operation that altered things then you would be there for him?

    By all means go to your GP but maybe you can find a way through this without anti- depressants. Sex is a very important part of a relationship I agree but you are worth more than JUST the sex surely?

    #329128

    Sarah
    Participant

    Hi Mableblu
    You are so kind to have replied so quickly when I am suffering .
    I don’t know if things will change naturally going forwards .
    I feel so responsible for changing our lives as a couple .
    There are other strong areas in our lives and he has not been negative towards me or our situation just feels he can’t help me which of course only I can really by feeling more positive .
    I just can’t really find a light to follow .
    I am going back to my GP to hopefully try a stronger dose of HRT which may help before I go down the line of antidepressants .
    I hope you are ok and making a good recovery with support at home and st work .
    If I can offer any advice on anything specific I will certainly try .
    Thanks for your kind words . X

    #329129

    Mabelblu
    Participant

    Sarah,

    I’ve got all the fun of this yet to come! I think just be a bit kinder on yourself. You aren’t much further ahead than me. Actually the HRT increase sounds like a strong possibility of helping you. I may have to do this myself as I still notice a drop in mood the day before changing my patches. I’m a 50 dose at the moment……..You don’t need to thank me…I could hear the desperation and just thought I may be able to calm you down a little…..

    I think a lot of women would be embarrassed to talk about their sexual experiences so good on you for admitting things aren’t right for you….there’s probably someone out there feeling the same. But there’s still time for things to improve I think? Or at least chance to see if hormone levels are responsible. I think testosterone is meant to be important in all this?

    Hopefully someone will join this thread that is more weeks post op than me.

    #329142

    Sarah
    Participant

    Hi Maybleblu
    You are Ace !!
    So needed to hear your kind words .
    I am always upfront about sex so ask me anything in the future .
    Take good care xx

    #329190

    Carmela
    Participant

    Hi Sarah
    Im only in the second week of my laparoscopic total hysterectomy.
    One of my main worries was the big ‘O’ . Its important to me!
    Before i made the decision to go ahead with the surgery i spoke to several women (4 in total) about the subject of how sex was following their surgery and every single one of them said there was no difference.
    I can only assume your hormones are still trying to rebalance themselves.
    I am on oestrogel and testosterone. Testosterone helps with libido (which I’m assuming includes orgasm, certainly helped mine before surgery as it had depleted considerably with menopause!) However I dont think you can get this on the nhs. Cant remember the reason. I went down the private route to get mine.
    I am no doctor but wanted to provide you with some sort of comfort. We can only go by what other women are experiencing and their feedback.
    If its any help, im seeing one of these ladies on Friday. She had total hysterectomy and i think i remember her telling me that she was able to get testosterone via her gp. She had hers many years ago so i dont know if that is still the case now. But i will ask her when i see her on friday.
    Would you like me to ask her anything further?
    Xx

    #329237

    Sarah
    Participant

    Hello Carmela
    Thanks for your advice .
    If you could ask your friend the details of how she got her testosterone that would be very helpful .
    Thanks x

    #329503

    Sarah
    Participant

    Hello Ladies ,
    My GP told me yesterday that testosterone replacement is not available on the NHS .
    I have been given 75 dose Estraderm which is a stronger dose than I was on before .
    It is very hard to find in pharmacies.
    Are there any other 75 dose patches that are plentiful out there that anyone knows about ?
    I am gaining more confidence having sex and my partner has upped his game and is helping more .
    The physical sensations of orgasm are very altered .
    Hope you are all well ?
    S x

    #329505

    Mabelblu
    Participant

    Hi Sarah,

    I may be asking to go up to 75 too. When you say the orgasm has altered. Do you find that it’s all in the front? Not as powerful? Anyway glad things are improving for you x

    #329509

    Sarah
    Participant

    Hi Maybleblu
    Exactly correct .
    Orgasm is now an external clitorial experience entirely .
    Internal muscular contractions are gone .
    Thanks for your honest questions I am happy to reply the same .
    S x

    #329510

    Mabelblu
    Participant

    Oh no,

    That doesn’t sound good🙁 Much less satisfying. I’ve only attempted it once so far and that was exactly what I thought was happening. I guess it’s too late now😟. So much of the literature said it doesn’t make any difference but I would say that is a big difference!…Somehow not really complete.

    #329540

    Sarah
    Participant

    Hi Mableblu
    Yes it is a huge difference .
    I think some woman who have had their sex lives so disrupted by bleeding and pain prior to hysterectomy are so amazed that there is a sex life beyond surgery , that they have a new lease of life .This could be a possible reason for believing their sex life is unaffected .
    Our sex life was not impacted on prior to surgery ( which was done for suspected cancer ,thank God not found ), what I have left is far less of an experience that I had before .
    For me / us my cervix and womb played an active and important role in orgasm .
    If you want to continue to share please do ,always listening .
    S x

    #329543

    Carmela
    Participant

    Hi sarah
    Re orgasms….Maybe its just early days? I asked 4 separate women and they all said there was no difference and they all had theirs done few years back. God I hope this is right as now I’m panicking! !! Also there’s the GSPOT to consider?
    The other question you wanted answered is about testosterone. My friend didn’t get it on the NHS at all. I have it but had to go via the private route. Hope this helps xx

    #329560

    Sarah
    Participant

    Hi Carmela ,
    Thanks for all your advice and support.
    I now realise I must have had feeling and sensation within / on my cervix which was part of my experience of orgasm .
    This may not be the case for all women but now my cervix has gone I realise it was part of my orgasm .
    I think as swelling and internal trauma subsides there will be an improvement and I am hopeful for that but what is gone is gone .
    My partner however is starting to say that sex feels more like it used to so I feel good about that .
    Thanks for the info on testosterone I may look into getting it privately ,for now I am just getting used to the 75 Oestrogen patch .
    Thanks again so kind of you .
    S x

Viewing 17 posts - 1 through 17 (of 17 total)
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.

Register to Become a Member Today

Back To Top